Another day as usual, waking up from a long day of slumber, going downstairs to shower, and then, my favorite part of the day.. Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a side of chips. I always enjoyed this small snack, no matter how many times I had it, but this day. I ran out of bread, so I searched frantically for just two slices of bread, but they all had disappeared. “Where are they?! I swear, I had some left!” I was desperate, I was breaking down. I needed this sandwich, I never skipped it once for the past twenty five years.
My mother, Anne, would always make one for me to bring as lunch to school. And even after I was no longer a child, she would still sneak the sandwich in my bag. It’s still not the same without her making them for me, but it’s the only memory I have of her. This was a symbol to show that she really cared for me. Anne was the best mother anyone could have asked for, and I took that for granted. If only, I loved her just a little more. Well, there’s no time to mope about that now. I still need to purchase some bread!
“I’m going to get my sandwich.. No one can stop me.” Gathering my backpack, I packed all the necessary equipment needed to buy bread, all stuffed in random pockets of my luggage. This included, money for the finest of breads, two jars of peanut butter and jam, to accompany the bread, and a handgun, just in case no one wants to sell me bread. “Oh! Can’t forget to make sure the gun is locked and loaded,” chuckling slightly. “I’m so silly!” I said as I loaded one chamber into the pocket.
Throwing the bag over my shoulder, making sure the gun was well-hidden in the pockets, I journeyed forward. Approaching the store, I wandered through the magical doors, which opened up just for me. “Aw, thanks! I can even make objects come alive for me.” Laughing slightly as I passed the metal detectors, I said, “I can also make objects die, apparently.” The air slapped me on the face so strongly that I was shivering. “Burr, this market is colder than usual.” Crossing my arms for warmth, I made sure the straps of the bag was tightened.
“Sorry about that, Lee! The place’s air conditioning is broken.” The man awkwardly laughed. “Are you here for your daily dose of bread?” He questioned, as he glanced over to my baggage. I usually bring my backpack to the market everyday, but of course the workers can’t just help to find it strange, but they never even asked about it. You think they would check my bag now or then, especially since I have such quick access to a gun.. Which is good on my behalf, so better not question their logic?
“Ah, yes! I seemed to have run out.” Nodding to him, I raised my index finger. “I would like to purchase your finest bread.” I will not accept anything lower of quality, or I’ll punch you in the face. The better the bread, the more efficient it works.
“Of course, right this way, Lee’anne.”
“You know my name is Lee, right?”
“O-Of course, of course.. Right this way Lee.”
Following the attendant's footsteps, I found myself in an unfamiliar room gleaming with white walls, and the tiles creaked with every movement. The air was chilly, with hums of patients filling the absence of sound. “Wh-What is this place?” There was anxiety and fear filling my lungs, making it difficult to breath. I wanted to run, there was a feeling lodged in my throat, that I desperately needed to say. I had to get out of here, but what is making me stay? The flashes of memories are, where my mother had claimed to have needed more bread and brought me here to purchase some, but that was another lie, wasn’t it?
“Don’t pay mind to the environment, this place is here to help you. Lee’anne, this is going to be for the better.” He reached over to me, trying to comfort me with the touch of my shoulder. I yanked his hand away, not even letting it get near me and slowly backing away from the man.
The words creeped into my mind, what does he mean?! I stopped in my track, staring over to him with disheartened eyes. “What do you mean to help me?! There’s nothing wrong with me!” I had been here many times, why am I seeing the reality of it now? It was those damn pills, wasn’t it? My head became clear, but the thought of my mother still exists.
“Calm down, Lee’anne. I’m not trying to hurt you.” The attendant moved closer in the position of defending himself. With one hand in front of him, and the other closely behind his pocket. He’s treating me like an animal. I wasn’t going to allow this. I slapped his hand, and starting shouting at him as he was confused, he backed up a couple steps.
“It’s Lee! My name is Lee!” I screamed, tears forming in the ducts of my eyes. Wiping them away, I found the man close to me, placing one hand on my shoulder. “My name is Lee.. It’s Lee..” Weeping away, as the attendant tried to comfort me, I refused to have my mother’s name combined with mine, it’s too painful to be called by someone who’s already dead. Being brought back to reality, I allowed anger to be my guide. No more tears, no more pain.
“I know, I know.. Your mother was a good person, and I’m sorry your name reminds you of her, but you should keep the name she has given you at the very least?” He smiled, lifting my head from the view of the floor. “Let’s get your sandwich now, is that alright?”
I refused, I was tired of the ‘sandwich’ that I had to eat every single day. What’s even the point? It’s not like I have anything else to live for, everyone that I love or have loved.. Is just a rotting corpse. This time, I wanted to be in control of my own life. Not because someone wanted me to be alive and well.. Not like I ever was. I jerked his arm away from me and proceeded to punch him in the face. Then I ran. Not knowing what to do, I tried to escape in the opposite direction of him. I was sure that I have broken his nose, but paid no attention. There wasn’t time.
The attendant frustratedly pulled out a radio, and spoke directly into it. “Patient #432 is escaping. I repeat, patient #432 is escaping.” He struggled to say, as there was blood dripping all over his face.
Cornered by heavily armed males, I had nowhere to go. “Stay where you are!” One ordered me, I didn’t want to though. I proceeded to do what they asked, but slowly I reached both of my hands to the side of my bag, pulling out the jars of peanut butter and jam. Throwing the jars at both sides, to distract the officers, I quickly clutched on the handle of my gun, revealing it to the crowds. Shakily, I aimed the handgun at the head of one of the officers, and without hesitation, I pulled the trigger.
Dropping the gun at the deed that I had just done, I fell to my knees, as spurts of blood splattered onto my face. What have I just done? I’m just as bad as my father… Tears trailed down my face, wiping them away, smearing the blood across my face. There were few people shocked over the death, and I looked back to the others.. as they shot me straight through the center of my skull. Falling to the ground, the last words I managed to hear was. “ No one can save her now…”